I’m gonna be honest. It’s been a bit dark and swirly for a while around here.
Even when my faith is the best it’s been, the storms still come. I spent a lot of time reading Job over the past month.
Job was a very upstanding guy. He was also pretty privileged and life was pretty good. And then the devil decided to mess with him. Job went through some major losses. He endured sickness, betrayal, you name it. And he just kept as close as he could to God through it all. Sure, he lamented and asked for relief but his faith didn’t waver. He just kept seeking God and asking for mercy and wisdom and grace to endure it all.
Honestly I am thankful I am not going through what Job went through but like Job, the thing I struggle with the most isn’t my faith. For me, it’s my pride. I know God is in control. I know it will all turn out okay. I’m not questioning that I am taken care of but I struggle with how to authentically and humbly live out loud while things are challenging. Without looking like a whiner. Or a downer. Being a Christian doesn’t mean life is easy. It’s a jungle out there, people, and the enemy is not a fan of people on the A team.
I fall into the enemy’s trap of wanting to look like I have it all figured out and am an expert on it all. And I want to do all the right things and be positive and attract positive and have a good mindset and all of that, because that’s all important. It truly is. We have enough negative and detrimental stuff coming at us on the regular and what is inside needs to be fortified with goodness (Whatever is good, noble, just think on that!) But I am also a human, a sinner, and flawed. I feel like I am a failure if I let it show that I don't have a grip, that I need help and it’s freaking hard and embarrassing and stressful around here much of the time.
But if I have it all figured out, then I am taking God’s place. I’m not giving him room to work.
The point is, we need to see everything as a season. It can simultaneously be totally freaking hard and totally full of grace and mercy and love, and it is available if we tune into it. God is with us through it all and he has a huge plan for us if we let Him have control. We can weather a tough season and wait for spring and all to be bright again. I am holding on for spring and taking in heapfuls of grace and mercy every moment asking for assistance. And I can hear the spirit say to me "It is going to be okay. The sun is rising again."
We are starting a listening program and I am so hopeful. I'll definitely be sharing more about that soon.
I'm Lisa Yau