I moved across the country with a 6-week old and my hubby had to hit the ground running with some high expectations and long work hours. My son was hard to soothe and the first year was hard and lonely. I had made a couple of friends, thank God, and I did my best to keep busy but the days were long and often lonely and I didn’t really feel confident about motherhood and felt like it was all my fault that my kid was a terrible sleeper and nursing around the clock I couldn’t keep up with anything in my house and we had a cockroach infestation. I was ashamed of myself.
My heart breaks for that woman 4 years ago who felt the weight of everything and didn’t know any better.
I got really ill. I won’t rehash all of that now, you can find pieces of that story in older posts on my blog)
We moved again.
I went through a year of co-parenting with my dear mother-in-law who came to our rescue and I am so thankful for her and what she did for us. But still, it was coparenting with my mother-in-law.... while navigating a debilitating disease.
After failed treatment, I had surgery. The day before I was supposed to return from leave, I was notified I was being laid off.
All of this to say, my mental health wasn’t in the greatest place. I managed to get myself to therapy. Thank God for therapy. In summarizing all of this I really wonder why I questioned at the time “was it bad enough” to go. Omg it doesn’t even need to be Bad with a capital B to go to therapy, but... I definitely qualified lol.
Therapy was great for helping me shine a light and give a name to the things going on inside my mind and identify ways to start to change thought patterns that weren’t healthy. It was an amazing start.
Then I found Young Living and all of the emotional oils and a new chapter of light and hope and healing began. I met Jesus in a way I had never met him before in the midst of all he was orchestrating for me.
Where I was alone, He gave me people in this community. Where I was broken, he gave me earthly tools to heal. Where I have wounds and sin, he has taken that and transformed it into love and beauty.
I never lost faith that God was with me on the path, but I did feel as if I wasn’t good enough, or worthy of more than the suffering I was in. I felt like I was just messing it all up.
I heard someone say the quote “God won’t let you miss out on what he has for you” and it has stuck with me. God has so much goodness for us and he is working out a path for us to get it if we put our trust in Him! We don’t have to earn it. We just need to accept it.
I love telling my story because I love looking at how far I’ve come since that summer with that newborn when we took a big step out into trusting God in moving here. It was rough there for a while but for every bit of suffering I endured, I’ve experienced joy and healing. And I love that He placed me here doing these things so I can help others up the next rung on their own healing journey. I love sharing His light with others. I love teaching the geeky goodness of how this stuff can be both gift-from-God miracles and scientifically-sound-facts. Because God can do that.
YOU have a healing story that is yet to be written, and you are SO WORTHY of it. I would love to encourage you on your path! 💕
I'm Lisa Yau