it is a delicate dance with this boy. mustering courage to lead him where i am not confident myself, but also listening for him to lead me too; to show me what is too far, what is too much, and then taking the feedback and attempting to strike a compromise between fear and growth, not heeding too much of one or the other. in other ways he is racing ahead and i feel i am not enough to keep up with his interests and energy and high level of need. this is the daily push and pull and nuance with which our gifts beseech us. it is literally as if a new person is being birthed in me and i continue to labor - the expansion ever occurring in fits and starts over and over again.
it's a challenge to feel understood. he feel things more intensely than it seems others do, and in this rebirth, i am (re)discovering and learning to accept my sensitivities and the impact that his have on me as well, whether it is by empathetic exchange or epigenetics or just an awakening to something that has always been, it is real to me now as it is for him. regular activities need a great deal of planning, energy, and modulation. transitions are ripe with anxiety of anticipating and planning the next scene as i work to reassure him and answer for myself: do i know what to expect? have i been through this before? will the stimuli be too overwhelming? will i have a safe place? what will i do if it gets too hard? will i be accepted? will anyone understand me? why is this so hard for me? on the converse his passion and focus are unparalleled. he is an excellent communicator and he is exploring topics well above age-level.
in this journey i am being refined. i am being called to examine how outside opinions or perceptions affect my behavior and the choices i make. i am being challenged to be an advocate for myself and my family. to stand tall in my own circumstances and not look side to side. i must determine what we need and take action. make sacrifices. be courageous. no one else can do this for me. these are my lifelong weaknesses that are now in the spotlight. those are the things that my motherhood brings.
i find myself wishing for easier circumstances and envious of an alternate reality; feeling 'not enough' for this one. but that's not really the truth. of course there is no mistake in the way things are and we are given what we are given for a perfect purpose. i am blessed with this reality and just like labor, i shall ride the waves of expansion (contractions) and wait for a moment of rest before the next wave. in my "mindful birthing" training i was reminded that each moment in itself is tolerable, it is only overwhelming or scary or painful when we look too broadly. therefore, i shall follow each breath and call upon the spirit for guidance in each moment. and look back over the growth that we all are going through as the clock ticks by.
I am the mom of a Gifted 4 year old with Sensory Processing Disorder. we've known since birth that there was something special about him but it's been a journey of understanding and acceptance and navigating a challenging system where it's hard to get answers, hard to be believed, and hard to find support, and our life is unfolding with lots of grace from God as we are led just where we need to be, step by step. we don't have it all figured out and we don't need to but we are doing our best, and let that be enough.
Resources and more info:
Warning: Parenting a Gifted Child May Be Hazardous to your (Mental) Health Grayson School
It’s not just in your head: Self-care for moms of gifted children Not So Formulaic
Anyone else a huge procrastinator about shopping?
I’m still working on more than half my Christmas gifts, I make the lists months in advance thinking I’m so proud of myself for being on the ball this time, but then I just let it sit til the last minute second-guessing and overanalyzing because maybe it won’t be good enough and I will let someone down. Or when I’m shopping for myself I put it in the cart and then abandon it because maybe I don’t deserve to spend money on myself. Lies, right? I’m working on being kinder to myself but when the stress rises I’m not as vigilant about keeping the lies away! 😌
The truth—> We are enough. In whatever state we are in and we bring our best in everything we do.
Anyway, if you’re like me or know someone like me who needs a little push as the days close in on Christmas, this is the set of oils and diffuser that started it all for me... and it’s the set of oils and diffuser that could start it all for YOU (or a loved one) too! 😍🙌
If you’ve been on the fence about getting your starter kit, my question is, “what’s REALLY holding you back” because for me, I wish I hadn’t waited and I guarantee every single person I’ve ever “sold” a kit to will tell you first hand, it was the BEST money ever spent, and the return, is SOOO much more than you could EVER imagine. Trust me😘 I’m here for you if you have any questions 🤗🤗
I have one you could have immediately if you live in South Florida🌴 And if you aren’t local, we can get it to you quick.
I promise you won’t be disappointed, and I promise I will be there EVERY SINGLE step of the way and teach you just how easy it is to use these magical little bottles that are going to change you life in SO many ways😍😭🌱
A few posts ago I was referring to my word in 2018. It was actually a couple of words - "Calm Confidence"
I was working on my vision board for myself, my family, and my business and while I was making my lists, it hit me what my word should be this year.
Right. I had to laugh. You know you're on the right path when it doesn't seem like you would have chose it if you were really calling the shots. haha. I mean what a dork, I coudn't just settle for "freedom" or "unburdened" or "liberated" or something less nerdy? I even negotiated with myself that it should be "light" instead. And that is definitely the runner up. Or it might be the one that I actually tell people lol so that I don't feel like such a weiner for my dramatic word choice.
Our team is making a necklace with our word. I mean I have to put that on jewelry?
But, the spirit was clear. That is the one.
It's so right. I get in my own way so often. I let other things get in my way. I walk heavy.
So, this year, I am going to travel light. I am going to ditch excuses. I am going to just do the dang thing. I am allowed to enjoy the process. I am allowed to let life flow to me. I am allowed to move forward!
i am light,
i am free
i advance with ease
What's your word for 2019?
Last January I had a bug in my bonnet that I was going to make some changes. I was going to get active, I was going to get control of my anxiety, and I was going to surrender to God and start to tune in to where he was really leading me.
I started Monique McLean's 21 Days of Prayer on January 2 last year. It is so good. Although i have to admit I have to watch it on 1.5x speed because she is a bit wordy and I need to keep things moving. I also have to admit it took me more than 21 days. But it was very very transformative for me. I also did the Feelings Protocol at the same time for the month of January and I have to say that they were perfect compliments to each other.
I am starting it again this January and I want to invite you to join me. We don't have to start on exactly the same day or compare notes if you don't want to (but if you do, I'd be delighted to, that's my passion!) I think it is such a wonderful way to start the new year.
Since last year she's jazzed up the setup and it's really nice, over at youinfuse.com. I get nothing for sending you over there but I highly recommend it for your own growth! There's also a workbook that I purchased to go with it this year, but it is not a requirement to do the study. Go, check it out. I'll wait here.
Drop me a message if you're planning to do it! I'd love to cheer you on in my prayers.
Have a blessed Christmas and I am sending you all the best for your best year yet in 2019.
Last December I got myself this gift. It’s in my bathroom and I look at it every day. Last December I did not have any self-worth or courage. I was riddled with anxiety. I was sort of a loose cannon. I had literally just felt the call to start my business and was being swept up with a current of momentum in my soul that wasn’t going to heed my mind’s protests or hesitation with this plan laid out before me. So, in the business, we went through the exercise of picking a word for 2018 and I chose “calm confidence” because I had seen that phrase used to describe Sacred Mountain, (which had made me “get” what oils were all about) and I knew I’d need lots of it this year.
What a year it has been. In the beginning I was faking the confidence part, and lacking on the calm. In the middle I realized my word should be humility. I had started the year trying to compensate for where I lacked, but I had over-corrected. The difference between artificial growth and authentic growth is humility.
I faced some big scary self-development truths this year. I experienced unbelievable healing on several fronts, and it was all by the grace of a God who was going before me, leading me on a yoke through hills and valleys, giving me rest, giving me challenges, giving me blessings in the form of people and support and angels to guide me towards unprecedented growth.
I am just where I am meant to be. I just keep saying yes to the next step, and hanging on through the next lesson, and allow myself to be molded and formed for a greater purpose. And somewhere along the way when I wasn’t looking for it, that calm confidence did show up. 🙌
I'm thinking hard about my new word for 2019. I know that setting intentions is very powerful and I am full of faith that this journey will continue to lead me to new opportunities, new heights, and new challenges for the glory of God!
What's your word for 2019??
I'm Lisa Yau, thanks for stopping by!