Ever get into a funk where you feel pretty lonely, unloved, or just down? I tend to have a few of these days every month, where it feels like no one is there for me and I am so weak and I crave connection and love to "fix me."
When I am in the middle of it, it certainly doesn't feel like a lie. I am convinced that everyone is selfish and doesn't care about me, and isn't tuned in to what I need. I fixate on all the things that aren't happening, or aren't there. Where I have fallen short, where others have fallen short. But. Reality Check: We are all imperfect beings in an imperfect world and nearly no one is purposely shafting anyone, especially in the love department.
I have wounds from the past which make me vulnerable to fall into the pit of feeling unloved. It's a program that my subconscious wrote a long time ago when I was in a situation that I didn't have the resources to navigate and so the pattern and the script I repeated was "I am not worthy of love", as a (flawed) logical deduction from the situation at hand. The true reality of the situation was much more complicated than that and I've since learned that it actually had very little to do with me, and certainly nothing to do with my worthiness of love. But, those programs take a lot of effort to deconstruct! In moments of weakness it is second nature to jump to them like a well-worn path that feels familiar and ironically comforting, if not also miserable. It takes vigilance to wake up from the automatic execution of these patterns and stop them from barreling forward into a pit of self-deprecation.
We all have wounds from some thing or another from the past that are connected to lies that we repeat to ourselves. These things can pop up in present day in odd places, in the midst of healthy relationships: a re-enactment of old footage in present day. Our subconscious doesn't like to let go of wounds, it likes to keep playing with them until they get resolved, aka proven to be false and replaced with a new reel of truth.
You can recognize a wound if you get angry or upset about something someone did and the feelings overtake you. Unless the thing that they did is enough to create its own new wound, it is probably a replay of a past wound that was triggered by something similar in the current situation. If you're able to take some quiet time to explore your reaction, you might find the theme and be able to link it back to the original wound.
To move past it, you need to retrace the wound, release unresolved feelings and work to find peace with it. This doesn't happen magically all at once, but each time the wound is triggered you'll have a new opportunity to call it out and work to replace it with truth.
The real truth, applicable to heal EVERY wound is that you are a child of God who is loved fiercely, unconditionally, and immensely and is wholly worthy of every bit of it. There is nothing you can do, or fail to do, that could ever reduce, remove, or even earn the love available to you every moment from the Father. We all are loved with this same love. No matter what. And it is available for us to share, and heal, and live joyfully within, without limits.
Ways to work to record new truth over the old wounded footage:
Our subconscious loves images. We have to work to engage our imagination to help create a new movie reel of good thoughts to overwrite the wounded images.
List all the people that love you.
Sit down and put pen to paper and think about all the people in your life who love you, care for you, support you, or would not wish ill of you. This is evidence that you are good. You are loveable. You are loved.
Fill your space with love.
Sit quietly and imagine all of the love on your list filling the room with you in it. Magnify it. It could burst open the walls. It fills all your cells, it rains down on you. This is God's love. It is even more immense than that. You are so loved by God that there is literally nothing else you need.
Now practice loving-kindness to yourself and imagine that love filling in your wound and healing it. Imagine that love overflowing to the source of the wound and onto any person or thing that was involved. You are safe. You are loved. You are healthy and strong. You are free from suffering. You live with peace, joy, happiness, and ease. (you can google Loving Kindness Meditation to go deeper here).
Now list out all of the things you are grateful for, especially surrounding the person or event by which you've been triggered. Look to find the good intentions. Attempt to see the situation from a higher perspective where they were not intending to hurt you, but managing their own situation the best they could. Finding things to be grateful for will help melt away those grievances you might still be holding on to.
Imagine your life free of this wound. Imagine your relationships without complication. Imagine your life full of love. What does it feel like, smell like, taste like, sound like? Remember memories from the past that are filled with love. Think about ways in the future you can fill your days with love. This sets the law of attraction in motion. Your subconscious will work to create a life that matches your dreams.
God has plans for all of us. He nudges us along on our path and gives us lots of opportunities to find our way to his path for us.
Do you feel lost? Do you feel afraid of what is before you and uncertain about all the steps ahead?
God is found in the stillness. It is sometimes really hard to decipher among the voices from outside, inside, and everywhere in between to find the true voice leading you to the next step.
We often want to know the whole path before us. We may have heard his call but have a hard time trusting how it will all unfold to get there. We stand frozen because we are afraid to go forward without all the information.
In surrendering to His plans for us and trusting the Spirit to guide us, we only need to listen for what the next thing is for us to do. Like a headlight on a foggy night, the light shines just far enough ahead for us to inch forward, trusting that the path will be made for us.
Hone Your Listening Skills
If you're having trouble hearing the Spirit, it could be that you've tuned too far into the future. God's grace is sufficient for us, when we stay focused on the present tasks ahead of us for the day, and not try to solve the burdens of tomorrow. Quiet yourself and ask, what is the next thing I need to do in this moment? Breathe and trust that each next moment will be provided to you if you faithfully follow the breadcrumbs. If you're still not sure, ask the Spirit to strike from your mind the things you are not called to do, and to bring forward the things which are best.
The key to walking God's path is to be in constant communication with Him. He might take a different route than you would choose, but the rewards are more than you could imagine.
Have a big decision to make and all the voices are jumbling in your head? Or do you have a big idea and you're not sure if it is yours or His? Here are some ways to discern the call:
Does it scare you and excite you? (Yes? - likely from God)
Does it feel like you would have come up with it on your own? (No? it is probably from God!)
Is it grounded in truth, love, and supported by scripture? (Yes-->From God!)
Stepping out in faith. When it is really scary.
But I'm not good enough.
I'm not worthy of success
What if ... ?
Spend some time thinking about the wounds from your past that might be holding you back from stepping forward. God leads us through things that stretch us out of our comfort zone and also challenges us to work through those things that can help us shed wounds from the past. “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good.” Romans 8:28. You may have gone through some hard things in the past. God will take that pain and help you transform it into something beautiful. Your best use of energy is spent on finding your gifts, giving God control, trusting him, worshiping him, and leaning on Him. He's got the rest. "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:34
You don't have to know all the steps. You just have to take the first one. Listen to the Spirit guide you one step at a time.
"The Lord directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives. Though they stumble, they will never fall, for the Lord holds them by the hand." —Psalm 37:23–24
Resources that have helped me with discernment
Acquiescing to God's Call Video on Brilliant Perspectives
She's Still There - Chrystal Evans Hurst
21 Days of Prayer Monique McLean
Jesus Calling - Sarah Young
Let me tell you, friends. Essential oils have done some pretty phenomenal things in my life. But it’s sort of intimidating and personal to talk about it.
The facts that are not terribly hard to tell and maybe only a little hard to believe: I didn’t have to replace the allergy meds when I ran out of them; I feel really comfortable with my son using the spray bottle to clean our windows; My house smells nice for the first time in 10 years since I gave up synthetic fragrances a decade ago; I have something to reach for if my head hurts or if I burn myself; My inflammation markers are low; We have a solid handle on everyday wellness and the yuckies that we might pick up at many kid-friendly places don’t like to hang with us anymore; We sleep better than we have in 3 years.
The big stuff though… what has changed my life, is how these oils have helped me climb out of a deep pit. It’s a pretty intense story. It’s hard to tell. It’s hard to believe. Sure, I wouldn’t be getting anywhere on this life’s journey without a lot of faith, perseverance, the right timing, a lot of encouraging voices, and the grace of God; but the grease that keeps the machine moving forward? That’s what these oils are. It was a pretty rough patch there. (check out my older blog posts for some insight). Self-care? None. Self-confidence? Non-existent. Anxiety? All-time high. And did I have a clue? Nope. I was driving along doing the best I could, all the while gnawing at myself that I wasn’t enough. (Spoiler alert. I’m enough. I still need to tell myself this many times per day, but I’m getting there!)
In my circle, I was late to the oils game. I mean I had used them, and many friends had been using them and had shared oils as gifts throughout the years but nothing had clicked for me and I didn’t know what I was doing with them. It was intimidating. I didn’t have the resources to know what to do with them. Then a friend mentioned she was having a no-pressure class about oils, and my interest was piqued. I was ready to get my hands on some information and ready to make some changes.
I started to gobble up information and I found the details about emotional support and emotional release to be fascinating. They gave me hope. I had been going to therapy, and that was helping but it was a slow, hard climb and it was really easy for me to get in my own way and stall the process. The thing with talk therapy is that it is really really wonderful for working through current-day problems, but is more challenging to release old trapped things, as they are buried deeper and have more barriers to being brought out and said aloud to someone. The science of essential oils is astounding. I learned that essential oils work at the cellular level and with the limbic system to make a significant impact with respect to bad patterns, emotional blockages, and cellular memory.
I learned about the other numerous blends that Gary Young had developed aimed at emotional support and I had real true hope; and, as soon as I got my hands on them, I had real true results.
Through an iTovi Scan I found Sacred Mountain. And in my research I discovered the Feelings Kit, Sacred Frankincense, SARA. I owe an immense amount of gratitude to these blends from the beginning of my journey with oils.
The journey continues, and I have found more and more blends that have been kind to me. I have been able to release of some significant baggage from the past. I have gotten a handle on some bad thought patterns. My outlook and self-confidence has grown. I have tools for almost any situation where I might be getting off track emotionally. My faith has grown. We have had the opportunity to heal as a family from the challenges we faced during the lowest points of my disease.
All I can say is Thank the Lord for oils.
1 The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
2 He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
3 he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
for his name’s sake.
4 Even though I walk
through the darkest valley,[a]
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.
5 You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
6 Surely your goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord
I'm Lisa Yau, thanks for stopping by!